It all started with a tank top.
Apparently the TCU cheerleading team thought this was a cute idea! But alas, quite a few people begged to differ. Although the color palette is flawless, the saying on the tank top was #offensive. This tank top promotes the idea that there is some sort of war between people who are thin and people who are not. The issue with this tank top being made by cheerleaders is that one of the most well-known groups of people on campus is saying that not being skinny is wrong. The fact is, there is nothing wrong with looking any sort of way as long as you are happy with who you are. And you don't need a stamp of approval on your body, because it is YOUR body.
But anyways, let us move on!
In response to this photo, yours truly said, "is this a joke? Or did you actually waste money on sh*t like this to be an embarrassment towards our school?" I guess I forgot to sugar coat it.
It was at this point that I figured even if I did have friends, he was not one of them. So I decided to use the only "friend-making mechanism" I knew, which was to respond to him with a funny picture! He responded with some more things like sending a picture of him with his friend and saying, "sorry you couldn't go to a good school that would get you a life #richkids." I guess I hadn't made it clear that I, in fact, do attend the same university.
Next, I would like to call in my sister, Ali, to play the role of "the casualty" for the evening. In a sweet attempt to stand up for her twin, Ali responded to him saying, "the shirts are idiotic, along with your commentary." When interviewed, Ali said, "I was JUST trying to end the dispute."
"Sorry b*tch you should loose some weight #teamskinny"
Loose.
Not lose.
Ali cries, "HOW DO I LOOSE THE WEIGHT?!"
In all seriousness though, this college student basically called another college student... fat. Which is absurd and upsetting. We live in a world that constantly tears men and women apart for their looks. We live in a world where this is becoming even easier to do when you can hide behind technology. It is true that this guy deleted what he had said the following day. It is also true and unfortunate that I know how to take a screenshot. Even though we are laughing about this now, we would be lying if we said we weren't initially a little hurt. Ali and I were bullied throughout grade school, but luckily we always had each other. Typically when someone is bullied, they do not have a twin to back them up. Ali and I had a hard time explaining this situation to people because it is hard to talk about someone trying to hurt you. It is even harder to admit that you're vulnerable enough to be hurt by something like this. Thankfully, we are not at our breaking point, but that doesn't mean other people are not. We all didn't become Horned Frogs so people could represent our school like this. If you take anything from what I've written, I hope it is that online harassment is still an issue and it is still hurtful. If you find yourself in the same position as Ali or myself, speak up, and remember that only you can define your worth.
I applaud you for standing up to this foolish little boy and all the nastiness he stands for. You rock!
ReplyDeleteThe puffy face reply was good, but you're right when you say "It is even harder to admit that you're vulnerable enough to be hurt by something like this.". This response required courage ladies... Well done!
ReplyDeleteA deep circle of hell will be oh so very much in his frontal viewed presence in his life time to come.
ReplyDeleteWhile his responses were utterly degrading and ridiculous, I don't think your initial response to the post was necessary...
ReplyDeleteThe tanks: First Amendment? Freedom of Speech? Saying the tanks "promote the idea of some sort of war between those who are thin and those who are not" is a pretty unsafe assumption to make, in my personal opinion. This article has the potential to not only make TCU Cheer look bad (which, I'm sure was your intent), but the ENTIRE university look bad on a very public level.
The "fighting fire with fire" approach may have been better replaced with the "out of sight, out of mind" approach. I'm most definitely not agreeing with the way he handled the situation by any means (especially on social media where the world can see it), but I'm trying to see things from both sides here.
"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind"
I understand your perspective. Thank you for commenting. 99% of the time, I ignore things. I really do, but not doing anything about this kind of stuff has been getting old. And I know for a fact that there are a bunch of people who agree with me. People who haven't been treated with respect in the past, but just let it go to "keep the peace," get exhausted. I was simply just trying to be the voice of a group of people who are pretty much never heard.
DeleteMaybe the tank tops didn't mean that. You're right. Maybe they meant #TeamSkinny in a different way that does promote body equality. Let me know if you find out the true meaning of the tank tops, if I'm wrong, I'll happily admit it. But where your wrong is that I didn't mean to attack TCU Cheer. But thank you for doing your part in the assumption process. And yeah, maybe it does have the potential to make the university look bad. But it also does have the potential to make it look great. I advocate standing up for yourself and standing up for what you believe is right. I don't care if in the process I have to put down TCU Cheer, Football, the BLUU, WHATEVER in order to try to make this university as a whole, a better place. We all have a voice. If you don't like mine, you don't have to pay attention to it. It's honestly fine. I'm not offended in the slightest bit if we have a difference of opinion.
I understand how difficult it can be to bite your tongue - I struggle with this constantly, but work to better myself every single day. There is NOTHING wrong with voicing your opinion! In fact, I think that's a very courageous thing for you to do. The only complication in this scenario, like I mentioned previously, is your wording in your initial response to the shirts. It may be water under a bridge now, but THAT is the reason this entire situation got out of hand.
DeleteI will reiterate the fact that I am NOT standing up for his responses in any way, shape, or form. It was a malicious thing to do and completely uncalled for. But if your goal is to truly make our university (and the world) a better place, then my humble opinion to you is to sincerely think of what you say and strive to take the high road in any circumstance that presents itself.
The reason I shared my opinion initially, was to allow you the opportunity to see things from a different point of view, not to argue. Do I know everything? Absolutely not. But I do know that there is ALWAYS a better way to handle a situation.
I wish you the best in all of your future endeavors!
I understand your point of view and I appreciate you challenging others to learn about how to deal with situations! We are all learning and none of us are going to get anything 100% correct. I know that I may not be right all of the time, check my URL haha!
Deletehave a good one!
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ReplyDeleteSounds like someone needs to attend the TCU Tunnel of Oppression. https://www.facebook.com/events/503242199789891/?ref=22
ReplyDeleteI completely agree that this individual is a hateful and generally unintelligent person. I, too, go a private university in Texas in addition to knowing several TCU students. So I know how arrogant many of these spoiled rich kids can be. They often think themselves to be inherently better than others because either their parents are more wealthy or they have a nicer car or a more fit body. However, while the posts by this knucklehead are utterly distasteful, I do not truly see the problem with the shirt. Is there something wrong with expressing pride for having worked to be good physical shape? If a church group made shirts that read #teamJesus, would you proceed to call them offensive to any non Christian? I have little doubt, that there are shirts out there that read #teamUSA and most people in or from other countries likely wouldn't find the shirts, alone, to be offensive. There is nothing wrong with being proud about who and what you are. The problem comes when individuals turn around and judge others as being inferior because of differences that ultimately don't matter at all in the long run
ReplyDeleteThank you for saying this! I agree, there is nothing wrong with promoting good physical shape. But then I ask, why not say #TeamHealthy? There are people out there who are healthy individuals who are not necessarily skinny. We are all built in different ways. I think a shirt like this does one thing: lifts the ego of the person wearing it. We may have different opinions on the shirt, which is perfectly fine, but I wish for you to recognize that the shirt is not the main point of this post. But thank you for challenging me, I enjoy the messages that make me think just as much as the messages of full on support.
DeleteI'm embarrassed that people at our school- or anyone anywhere- can actually think of themselves as superior based on nothing but their appearance. I'm still proud of our school because I know there are plenty of students here that are so much better than that who don't feel the need to put down or shame others on any level.
ReplyDeleteThank you for not giving a damn, taking a stand, and making these kind of prejudices and bullying known. Hopefully after identifying this issue more publicly, there can be a means to correct this shallow and "idiotic" behavior.
Go you and go frogs.
Kudos to you Kelly and keep it up! What you have to say is important and needs to be "out there".
ReplyDeleteHi. I just want to say that I was a cheer leader and a victim of bullying. I do not believe they should have made the "skinny" shirts. I believe as role models, they could have made "fit" shirts. As examples for their peers, they have to be mindful of what they say and do. The male cheerleader could have turned it around to say they were trying to promote a healthy body and fitness instead he made it harmful by turning it into a fat/skinny disagreement. I have been on both sides of the scales. Being skinny and being healthy aren't always hand in hand. Your initial comment could have been worded better but his responses were utterly ridiculous. It only takes one person to make the whole squad and school look bad.
ReplyDeletehaha i definitely agree, i probably should not have sworn in my initial argument towards the shirts. oops, i'm happy to learn from this mistake. thank you for commenting, your perspective is very important.
DeleteIf you are really trying to make your university a better place, you would not of made this situation gone viral. Now the entire campus is looked negatively on.
ReplyDeleteI personally believe that the tanks were a team motive to motivate each other. I agree, they could of said something different but you were the one who made the assumption by replying to the tweet that had the picture of the tank.
We may never know the real meaning behind the shirts, but posting a viral article with an assumption was not the right thing to do.
Thank you for voicing your opinion, however, let me explain.
DeleteI brought up two problems. Cyber-bullying and body image. Two major issues all around the world. In order to fix a problem, people need to know that there is a problem. The entire campus is not looked negatively on. If anything, people have shown that they do not agree with cyber bullying or a negative body image. If you believe that the shirts were harmless, that is your opinion. But I made the assumption that the majority of people are making. I didn't make this go viral. People shared it. Other people made this get awareness. If you want to be upset with me, you should be upset with the hundreds of people who reposted it. I understand where you are coming from, in that you probably believe that this caused more of a problem by being brought up. I'm sorry if you think that, but I strongly believe that this will have a more positive effect than a negative one. Issues like this that occur on campus NEED to be brought up or else nothing will change. If you think that situations like this should be ignored, then that is your choice. Some of us are looking to change the way things are done because we are not satisfied with stuff like this.
I hope you at least understand my point of view, even if you disagree with it.
I also might suggest that you refrain from using language that points fingers, such as, "you were the one." I'm not evil. And neither are you. Have a good night.